Tuesday, 2 March 2010
The Power of Bacon
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Peeping Tom/Dick or Harry??
I have another stalker, boo hiss boo. This qualifies as my third so far in my lifetime, I shall outline their attacks below;
1 - a good friend and someone I shared a few naughty text moments with turned a bit iffy, it all ended rather badly when he sent me a picture of his knob and his fiance found it. But to put across my innocence the naughty text moments were from years before (before engagement), so the knob picture was out of the blue. Ever heard of delete history you asswipe?
2 - a weirdo who commented on my juicy ass has he rode by me on his bike one day, stuck around and watched which house I went into. 2 days later I get home to find police on my doorstep telling me someone matching his description was seen hanging around outside the house acting suspiciously. I saw him again a week later on the tram and he sat opposite me with an intense stare as I determindly looked out of the window!
3 - most recent encounter... i shall explain below
On Sunday evening I retired to my room at about 21.00 in order to change my bed before nap time. All was normal, my right hand curtain was open about 2 foot so anyone outside (over the railway, or tresspassing in the garden) would have seen me quite clearly. Once i had finished making the bed i turned my back to the window and took my top off as i walked towards the light switch to turn it off. There was some glare coming off the TV that lit the room slightly but i never worry too much about getting undressed as the houses across the railway are pretty far off. BUT i should have worried. Once i had got down to my birthday suit and had dug out my PJs for the night i stood up to find a laser pointing on my tummy! Some freak across the tracks was pointing a handheld (it was jumping up and down even with his steady hand) laser across the railway at me. At this point I dropped to the floor while my heart beat at a steady million mph - looking up i could see the laser being pointed on the wardrobe in my room a couple of times. I reached into my washing basket and pulled out the clothes i had on earlier and got into them whilst on the floor... i put my head up over the level of the bed and all of a sudden the laser is on me again. Now i think you will all agree that this had gone beyond a pure chance encounter, this person is watching me! I scurried (on all 4's) out of my room and into the hallway, where i peaked out of the window and spotted which house the laser was coming from. I then ran downstairs and told dad who promptly waltzed out into the garden with his industrial torch and lit up the guys window like a Christmas tree in a silent "yes i know where you live" message (my hero).
My curtains are now stapled shut while I consider my options!
Friday, 12 February 2010
Holiday Fever
My day started off with a mission to buy my boyfriend a Valentines card. I am afraid I am one of "those" people who gets a little sucked into the traditions that come along with the dreaded Vday! So having hop - skip - jumped across the crowds (only jostled by one ignorant man) of londoners determindly pounding the streets getting to work into the nearest Clintons I was faced with almost an entire store dedicated to St. Valentine! The Birthday/Thank you/Get Well and Congratulations cards had been cast aside in a cruel and violent manner into the furthest corner of the store. Being as tall as the average man and taller than the average woman I was atble to do a quick scan of the shop and figure out where I should be hustling and promptly made my way towards the "Boyfriend/Fiance/Partner" section. The thing I love best about card shopping is the discreet sideways glances you give your fellow shoppers trying to spot which card they have selected. Being the nosey cow I am I kept a very close eye on the gentleman next to me eyeing up the Partner cards... thinking to myself "if your partner is a woman she won't be very happy with you"... being referred to as a "partner" on valentines day basically means he's embarrassed to call you his girlfriend and he doesnt mant to marry you! It comes with the penalty of death by girlfriend if such a mistake is made! He'd deserve it too.
Having gone through the motions of picking out a suitable card that isnt too mushy or traditional I was pulled towards the wrapping paper section... of which they had 4 choices... bloody 4??!! This is the moment everything went wrong for me...I was carefully selecting the most tasteful design out of the 4 when some hag came along and started trying to pull out the paper above at the same time. The paper above was a horrible mirrored paper covered in glitter, and because I had crouched down to reach my paper a rain of red glitter descended upon me in said hag's haste to get to the till. I nearly sat on the floor and cried.
But I made it out alive! This followed a quick excursion into Hotel Chocolat where I purchased two chocolate heart lollies for my bloke and I to share. I try not to spend too much time in this shop anymore as the woman with the tray of chocolates is so tempting. On my last to excursions I have actually managed to say "no" when asked if I would like to try their newest flavour. My colleagues at work are convinced I go in there just to smell all the chocolates and are adamant that the time will come when I am banned or get an ASBO for inappropriate behaviour!For anyone who has forgotten valentines day I found a link today that I thought was hilarious, and if you are a chicken lover you should definitely consider taking part... http://www.nandos.co.uk/index.cfm?fuseaction=model.defaultnav&cat=NE4&description=Valentines. It's a chance to win a special Valentines goody bag from Nandos with all sorts of Vday themed treats inside, including a special something from Ann Summers OoooOooo *gasp*... all you have to do is go to your local participating Nandos (not many) and place an order - then say "Pick a piece of PERI - PERI passion and pull your perfect partner" to the person behind the counter to get your goody bag! I have this image in my head of an unsuspecting Nando worker who has just come back from holiday and has no idea about the competition getting completely bemused by such strange goings on!
BTW it is Pancake Day on Tuesday... or should I use the lesser known traditional name of Shrove Tuesday! Not sure how many pancakes I will be eating though as a quick flick through my Slimming World book suggests 1 pancake will cost me 21 syns! I am only allowed 15 a day... and it's two days before weigh in! Half a pancake anyone?
Friday, 22 January 2010
Haiti Fundraiser
http://www.redr.org.uk
We started off the day with a bake sale. I am sorry to say I forgot to take pictures of the cakes I made, for which my sister will murder me... I made two batches of brownies, one with walnut chunks and one with white and milk chocolate chunks. I also made chocolate chip cookies in two varieties! As well as a large batch of weigh watcher recipe cookies, which taste exactly like shortbread *dribble*
There are 20 minutes to go before we hold the raffle, I have sold over 300 tickets at £1.00 per strip (5 tickets on a strip). Having asked people to bring in unwanted christmas presents and other items around the house we have a great collection of things up for grabs, including; 2 bottles of champagne, 12 bottles of wine, 1 bottle of 10yr Malt Whisky, 2 bottles of Bulmers (can you see an alcohol theme growing here?), nail manicure sets, a facial spa, books, chocolate, games etc... and Suzy our resident rubber chicken has even graced the stage by draping herself very dramatically across one of the boxes of chocolate. All the chocolate has come courtesy of Hotel Chocolat... none of that cheap stuff! Ha Ha!
Cant wait to see who wins and what they pick... I'm not taking anything home with me so you better pick my contributions first. Will let you know how it goes!
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Random Thoughts; Friendships
True friends are real people! Who you make an effort to spend time with, and friends you find from the age of 21 (maturity) up are the ones most likely to stick with you throughout your future years. I have a group of girlfriends that I have known since High School, we still meet at least twice a year for a catch up! And a best friend who lives in the North West, who I travel half the country to see as often as I can.
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Makeover!
I would also like to blog about my most treasured Christmas item from 2009. This year (after much unsubtle hinting) John bought me a Links of London Sweetie Bracelet. It is a charm bracelet made up of lots of links (get it?) and hidden between some of the links are charm holders which you can attach charms to.
Being a man, John had no concept of what the bracelet was, and so had no idea when he gave it to me that it was to hold charms! Luckily for me I had played my cards right and told various people that I was getting one for Christmas so I am now the proud owner of two charms. Both of which earily reflect irratic sides of my personality.
The Lolly Charm - because it is cute and sweet like me, and it shows my inner child and playful side!The Big Spender Charm - because... well... I spend far too much money and spoil people far too often!
I am looking forward to growing my collection of charms; the great thing about it is you get to see what people think of you as they will always buy a charm that they feel reflects what they know. Could also be quite scary...
I am wearing it now; the only downside I have found is that I have quite hairy arms, so occassionally I feel an odd tugging sensation - which is not at all comfortable - on my arm, so I have to do a quick adjustment!
LOVE IT STILL
Do I Look Stupid To You?!
For those of you who read my facebook updates with amusement you will already know I came close to combat with a fellow commuter on the train this morning. I think the most selfish act committed by the modern commuter is to read their paper when all existing room is needed for the odd shuffle of weight onto the other foot, and the adjustment of your bag into the other hand that doesnt ache as much. So why must people insist on shoving their newspapers in other people's faces; flicking pages and generally causing injury and misery? This particular commuter was also a fidget-er! When she had read everything of interest in her paper she spent the next 4 minutes doing a combination of the following - and repeating it again and again - hair flicking, finger clicking, sticking her face in her hair to smell it, adjusting scarf, adjusting coat, adjusting scarf so it came over her chin a tiny bit (??!!)...again, and again, and again, and again *snore*
Anyway - the reason I decided to write this post was because of an email I recieved today, which I read and then immediately thought to myself "Do I Look Stupid To You?!". Each year the company I work for hosts a Luncheon for the industry at the Grosvenor House hotel. In 2009 the buck stopped with me; and I organised it - very well, even if I do say so myself! If you're an events organiser you may have some idea of how much planning something like this takes; and how much of a chore it is to keep your contacts up to date, so you can make sure the right people know the right info at the right time!
And this cheek of a man has the audacity to send me an email saying "I'm building a list of contacts from the seating plan given out on the day of the luncheon" - ok - if you want to build a list of 1800 names from scratch then that is up to you - "I was wondering if you could send me the data you included in the booklet in an excel spreadsheet?" - excuse me? - "and if you had emails for everyone as well then that would be great" - yes I am sure that would suit you down to the ground you lazy ******. My response went along these lines "Dear ******, due to data protection (yeah - squirm out of that phrase you ass) I am not able to give you the information you are after, have fun building the list"
What a knobber!
On a much lighter note I have much to look forward to over the next few weeks! This coming Friday is John (my boyfriend's) birthday, no fancy affair this year but I do have a 4 day weekend whoop whoop. Then on Friday 22nd I shall be catching a train up to sunny Runcornia to see my second family of loved ones; Laura, Pete, Ruby (Rubz), Scarlett (Scar), Izzy and Stella McVey. Loz is one of my best friends, despite the distance geographically, Pete is her gorgeous other half, Ruby and Scar are my god-daughters (love, love, love) and Izzy and Stelle are pooches. Izzy is wearing a cone at the moment because she has a poorly foot :-(
I shall remember the day I was asked to be god-mother forever, I cried! Just like I cried when I found out Loz was pregnant with Rubz (finally), and just like I'm tearing up now remembering how much I cry about things that dont really need to be cried over.
I cried when I fell over on the ice the other day WTF??!!
Anyway - I am off to dry my tears and lock my Chief Executive in the basement if her meeting goes past 17.00hrs!