Thank you weather lady for telling me it would piss it down when I had only just finished straightening my hair, you really made me feel great about leaving the house this morning, thank you...
Thank you train enemy for once again standing in front of me at the last minute and getting a seat before me, thank you for being so scrawny and white that I would feel bad flicking you out of my way, thank you...
Thank you silly woman who decided to walk down the wet stairs while the bus was still moving and screaming all the way as you flew to the bottom and landed in a heap, you made me late for work, thank you...
Thank you member of IHT (who will not be named) who continues to pester and claim importance and name-drop in efforts to better his seat at the IHT Annual Luncheon... you are a toad and of no importance to me, thank you...
... and thank you in advance to all those people who have yet to annoy me today, you will step in front of me, stop in front of me, shove me, cough on me and talk too loudly on your mobile.
N.B to self... get out of London!
Monday 30 November 2009
Friday 27 November 2009
Nationwide Idiot Society
Why are some people so dim... I really dont understand, and I don't mean not smart, I mean no common sense, just plain idiocy!
I went into the bank today on a mission to get my international transfer number for my bank account, and pay in a cheque from Envirophone *wink wink*. I stand waiting for the lady to finish her phone call, she's one of these women that even though she's thinking "you bitch" inside she smiles sweetly with venom in her eyes! As I cautiously approach the desk and ask for what I am after the following conversation ensues:
"can I have you account number please"
"sure its 3*******"
"I cant just give the details out"
"pardon me?"
"I said I cant just give the details out, how come you know your account number by heart?"
"what... you asked me for my account number, I gave it to you, what's the problem"
"I need to see your card with your account number on it"
"that's fine, but it's not what you said initially is it?"
"just give me the card"
*tosses the card across the counter*
*bank lady angrily scribbles the number I need on piece of paper*
"thanks, but perhaps you could make it clear which are I's and which are 1's... so I make sure I get it right"
*scribbles even more on the paper*
"is there anything else I can get for you madam"
I watch as the spittle flys from her mouth dangerously close to smearing my piece of paper.
"no, that's fine"
How I got out of there without fire axe in my back I will never know!
I went into the bank today on a mission to get my international transfer number for my bank account, and pay in a cheque from Envirophone *wink wink*. I stand waiting for the lady to finish her phone call, she's one of these women that even though she's thinking "you bitch" inside she smiles sweetly with venom in her eyes! As I cautiously approach the desk and ask for what I am after the following conversation ensues:
"can I have you account number please"
"sure its 3*******"
"I cant just give the details out"
"pardon me?"
"I said I cant just give the details out, how come you know your account number by heart?"
"what... you asked me for my account number, I gave it to you, what's the problem"
"I need to see your card with your account number on it"
"that's fine, but it's not what you said initially is it?"
"just give me the card"
*tosses the card across the counter*
*bank lady angrily scribbles the number I need on piece of paper*
"thanks, but perhaps you could make it clear which are I's and which are 1's... so I make sure I get it right"
*scribbles even more on the paper*
"is there anything else I can get for you madam"
I watch as the spittle flys from her mouth dangerously close to smearing my piece of paper.
"no, that's fine"
How I got out of there without fire axe in my back I will never know!
Thursday 26 November 2009
But it started off so well!
Welcome to Mini Sprog's Blog. Sproglet is my sister you see, and I have laughed so much I cried reading her blog and would like to try my own brand... here it goes!
Today was a good day at work... and believe you me that those are few and far between at the moment! I think perhaps the only downer was that I kept thinking it was Friday today and I had the weekend to look forward to, a weekend of no set plans that I could relax and enjoy...but no, it's only Thursday gawd-dammit.
So anyway... good day. Had got most of my work done for the day and was looking forward to a night in chilling, until I remembered I had to trek to Holborn to pick up some clippers for John (my boyf). Having been at his house on Tuesday his broken clippers were waved frantically in my face with a distraught expression to boot. "Yeeeeees?" I said *more frantic waving* "what do I do, they're broken?", well you see there are two options, you get a part or you buy a new one. Hence me trekking to Holborn to get him the new option. But... and here is the eureka moment! I decided to be lazy and check the website (argos that is) to see if they had miraculously had a delivery at my local store... and OH YEAH! OH YEAH OH YEAH! 3 in stock, one of them is mine baby! So you see... my day just got even better.
Off I trot with a spring in my step, occassionally stopping to grind a lampost to the tune of "3" by Britney Spears to Argooooos in search of clippers. Having zig-zagged through the maze of Chuggers ranting phrases like "no thank you" "must go" "meeting somebody" "DONT FRICKIN TOUCH ME" I make it into the safe haven of artificial christmas trees and cheap toys that is Argos at Christmas-time.
I know what I want... I reserv-id-id it, I even have a number and everything! But I go to the catalogue anyway for some light reading and to see if there is anything else I can pick up whilst I am there. Having flicked through I now have a ticket with my reservation number and 3 other items on it... on the way I had been pondering how I would pay the cashier with my reservation number, could they tap it in and find it or did I have to use one of the auto machines? But now I have the ticket... and it has a little box at the top for reservation numbers, once again, things are coming together.
.... then it all went downhill
... firstly a lady races me to the back of the queue, well I was walking and she skipped in front of me, rude! Then I am left to sweat in the queue looking at all the impulse purchase buys that my god-daughters would love screaming silently to myself "you've finished their present, don't do it". Thankfully I can now escape to the till, I smile sweetly at Grace (yeah I checked the badge) and proudly hand over my neatly filled out ticket, my smile fades when I realise she is starring at me like I have a booger hanging out my nose. Oh yes, I am wearing my red glasses today, why oh why do people look at me funny in my red glasses. Now the weird part begins:
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the Dunlop bag"
"Yep"
"Colour may vary from that shown in the catalogue"
"ok"
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the Handy Manny Radio/TV kit"
"Yea"
"not sure which one you will get"
"Herm... alright"
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the clipper set"
"Yes"
"The items in the box may differ from that in the catalogue"
"what?"
"the items in the box..."
"yes i heard you, but what is the point"
"i dont know"
"can i refund it if it's not what i want"
"yea"
"fine then"
I am thinking to myself... is there any point in having the catalogue, if I am risking a lottery of any item turning up mascarading as something I have ordered then why should I even bother to look??
5 minutes later I am sitting on my cruddy chair waiting for my number to called. I am one of those people, those highly unlucky people, whose numbers are always called about 10 minutes before any of my items come out... so I take my time. My number comes up... I pretend I didnt hear it, it's only when the lady starts frantically waving my bag around that I approach the pick-up point and thrust my receipt across the desk.
Inevitably there are only two items of the 4 I ordered out, but wait... there's another one... falling slowly to the floor after someone smacked it with a 17kg exercise bike. Argos lady picks up said fallen toy and puts it infront of me;
"this is yours"
"no it's not"
"you ordered it"
"I ordered a new one" *points out crappy tape job and crushed corners"
"hmmm"
I am then ignored for 30 minutes while she serves up to number 62 (I am 31) before I snap and say in a very British manner "excuse me"... yes that is me snapping! Do you think perhaps you could complete my order NOOOOOOWWWWW.
But I am home now... safe in my room surrounded by my purchases, all of which are in relatively good condition considering the Argos lady tried her best to break everything whilst putting it in my hideously coloured carrier bag.
I have many other ideas floating in my tiny pea brain for blogs, but I shall save those for later!
Today was a good day at work... and believe you me that those are few and far between at the moment! I think perhaps the only downer was that I kept thinking it was Friday today and I had the weekend to look forward to, a weekend of no set plans that I could relax and enjoy...but no, it's only Thursday gawd-dammit.
So anyway... good day. Had got most of my work done for the day and was looking forward to a night in chilling, until I remembered I had to trek to Holborn to pick up some clippers for John (my boyf). Having been at his house on Tuesday his broken clippers were waved frantically in my face with a distraught expression to boot. "Yeeeeees?" I said *more frantic waving* "what do I do, they're broken?", well you see there are two options, you get a part or you buy a new one. Hence me trekking to Holborn to get him the new option. But... and here is the eureka moment! I decided to be lazy and check the website (argos that is) to see if they had miraculously had a delivery at my local store... and OH YEAH! OH YEAH OH YEAH! 3 in stock, one of them is mine baby! So you see... my day just got even better.
Off I trot with a spring in my step, occassionally stopping to grind a lampost to the tune of "3" by Britney Spears to Argooooos in search of clippers. Having zig-zagged through the maze of Chuggers ranting phrases like "no thank you" "must go" "meeting somebody" "DONT FRICKIN TOUCH ME" I make it into the safe haven of artificial christmas trees and cheap toys that is Argos at Christmas-time.
I know what I want... I reserv-id-id it, I even have a number and everything! But I go to the catalogue anyway for some light reading and to see if there is anything else I can pick up whilst I am there. Having flicked through I now have a ticket with my reservation number and 3 other items on it... on the way I had been pondering how I would pay the cashier with my reservation number, could they tap it in and find it or did I have to use one of the auto machines? But now I have the ticket... and it has a little box at the top for reservation numbers, once again, things are coming together.
.... then it all went downhill
... firstly a lady races me to the back of the queue, well I was walking and she skipped in front of me, rude! Then I am left to sweat in the queue looking at all the impulse purchase buys that my god-daughters would love screaming silently to myself "you've finished their present, don't do it". Thankfully I can now escape to the till, I smile sweetly at Grace (yeah I checked the badge) and proudly hand over my neatly filled out ticket, my smile fades when I realise she is starring at me like I have a booger hanging out my nose. Oh yes, I am wearing my red glasses today, why oh why do people look at me funny in my red glasses. Now the weird part begins:
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the Dunlop bag"
"Yep"
"Colour may vary from that shown in the catalogue"
"ok"
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the Handy Manny Radio/TV kit"
"Yea"
"not sure which one you will get"
"Herm... alright"
*tap tap tap*
"You've ordered the clipper set"
"Yes"
"The items in the box may differ from that in the catalogue"
"what?"
"the items in the box..."
"yes i heard you, but what is the point"
"i dont know"
"can i refund it if it's not what i want"
"yea"
"fine then"
I am thinking to myself... is there any point in having the catalogue, if I am risking a lottery of any item turning up mascarading as something I have ordered then why should I even bother to look??
5 minutes later I am sitting on my cruddy chair waiting for my number to called. I am one of those people, those highly unlucky people, whose numbers are always called about 10 minutes before any of my items come out... so I take my time. My number comes up... I pretend I didnt hear it, it's only when the lady starts frantically waving my bag around that I approach the pick-up point and thrust my receipt across the desk.
Inevitably there are only two items of the 4 I ordered out, but wait... there's another one... falling slowly to the floor after someone smacked it with a 17kg exercise bike. Argos lady picks up said fallen toy and puts it infront of me;
"this is yours"
"no it's not"
"you ordered it"
"I ordered a new one" *points out crappy tape job and crushed corners"
"hmmm"
I am then ignored for 30 minutes while she serves up to number 62 (I am 31) before I snap and say in a very British manner "excuse me"... yes that is me snapping! Do you think perhaps you could complete my order NOOOOOOWWWWW.
But I am home now... safe in my room surrounded by my purchases, all of which are in relatively good condition considering the Argos lady tried her best to break everything whilst putting it in my hideously coloured carrier bag.
I have many other ideas floating in my tiny pea brain for blogs, but I shall save those for later!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
