Well... it took me a grand 2.5 hours to get home tonight. If it wasnt for the fact it has already snowed once this year and you thought people may have learned from it then I wouldnt have been as surprised!
I tell you, the worst part about all of this is that I work for the company that was involved in the "Winter Service Review" research document funded by the Department for Transport. In fact I sit opposite the bloke who coordinated the damn thing - I intend to cause him slow death by winter service review tomorrow... paper cut, paper cut... slash slash slash! If he so much as utters the word "people need to adapt" I shall kick him back up to snowy Scotland.
I tell you, the worst part about all of this is that I work for the company that was involved in the "Winter Service Review" research document funded by the Department for Transport. In fact I sit opposite the bloke who coordinated the damn thing - I intend to cause him slow death by winter service review tomorrow... paper cut, paper cut... slash slash slash! If he so much as utters the word "people need to adapt" I shall kick him back up to snowy Scotland.
The day started ok... slowly bimbled up to the tram stop in the morning careful not to slip on the ice all the way down the road! My purse was raped by Sproglet on the way there who was in desperate need for cash after spending all her money on an ass bearing dress at the Christmas Market in town. After this however I dont remember much... the trauma of this afternoons journey has literally wiped all memory from my mind. There is, however, one thing that I remember from this morning, I remember the stupid as* that decided to stop and bend over in front of me at London Bridge station who was promptly... yet accidentally (!!!!) dry humped by me. I didnt mean to do it but he stopped right in front of me! I ran away very quickly afterward. I hope he remembers it fondly. It's almost as bad as when I sat on a woman's lap at East Croydon thinking it was my friend... it wasnt... she thought I was crazy. Well, I dont blame her really! *cringe*
The snow started falling gently at 3pm... to oooohs and awwws at the office, by 4pm we were all getting the hell outta there with a blizzard coming in. Got to London Bridge station where I had a row with an angry lady who I had "fallen accidentally into"... look lady, I'm getting off this damn train and if you must insist on standing in the middle of the doors then you are risking your life! Don't hate on me because I'm not too chicken to tell you to feck the hell off! So... now at London Bridge; chatting with Kerry as we emerge onto the main concourse and we both go "oh sh*t" when we see how many people are there. Must have been 200 people standing at the noticeboards and another 100 over the other side. No trains showing. What? We spot a Hayes train and take a chance on it. End up on platform 4. 2 trains go past and all of a sudden this announcement goes out...
"ladies and gentleman, this station has now been closed, the only platform with running trains is platform 4, if you are within the station please make your way to platform 4"
OH NO!!! Hayes train pulls in, huuuuge lady gets off to let other people off and a tidal wave of people try to get on, I am at the front of said tidal wave and am literally forced onto the train and thrown against a wall of people. Glasses immediately steam up... I'M BLIND! Crazy ladys outside trying to wangle their way on the train by shouting they're pregnant... I feel their pain, this is a 6 coach train instead of 10 (bad idea south eastern trains). By this point I am starting to resemble a sardine, a sweaty fogged up sardine who is trying to keep her hands down but by doing so is concious she has her hands againt people's backsides. I was one of those people who doesnt need to hold on because i'm simply wedged in! Bloke by the door is shouting his head off about his kid needing space and stop getting on the train, starts physically pushing people back off...ass munch. Perhaps if you stopped shouting then he would stop crying??
Anyway... train deposited me nicely at Elmers End where there was a tram waiting to drop me home. Bliss.
Now gotta look forward to the morning!
img cred http://www.ukroadsliaisongroup.org/liaison/winter.htm
The snow started falling gently at 3pm... to oooohs and awwws at the office, by 4pm we were all getting the hell outta there with a blizzard coming in. Got to London Bridge station where I had a row with an angry lady who I had "fallen accidentally into"... look lady, I'm getting off this damn train and if you must insist on standing in the middle of the doors then you are risking your life! Don't hate on me because I'm not too chicken to tell you to feck the hell off! So... now at London Bridge; chatting with Kerry as we emerge onto the main concourse and we both go "oh sh*t" when we see how many people are there. Must have been 200 people standing at the noticeboards and another 100 over the other side. No trains showing. What? We spot a Hayes train and take a chance on it. End up on platform 4. 2 trains go past and all of a sudden this announcement goes out...
"ladies and gentleman, this station has now been closed, the only platform with running trains is platform 4, if you are within the station please make your way to platform 4"
OH NO!!! Hayes train pulls in, huuuuge lady gets off to let other people off and a tidal wave of people try to get on, I am at the front of said tidal wave and am literally forced onto the train and thrown against a wall of people. Glasses immediately steam up... I'M BLIND! Crazy ladys outside trying to wangle their way on the train by shouting they're pregnant... I feel their pain, this is a 6 coach train instead of 10 (bad idea south eastern trains). By this point I am starting to resemble a sardine, a sweaty fogged up sardine who is trying to keep her hands down but by doing so is concious she has her hands againt people's backsides. I was one of those people who doesnt need to hold on because i'm simply wedged in! Bloke by the door is shouting his head off about his kid needing space and stop getting on the train, starts physically pushing people back off...ass munch. Perhaps if you stopped shouting then he would stop crying??
Anyway... train deposited me nicely at Elmers End where there was a tram waiting to drop me home. Bliss.
Now gotta look forward to the morning!
img cred http://www.ukroadsliaisongroup.org/liaison/winter.htm
No comments:
Post a Comment